Brubway Brandwiches

Ah! Fat Jared! I miss ol' tons 'o' fun.

I was stoked when I heard about Subway's relatively-recent entry into the fast food breakfast market. I love subway. I mean, what's not to love about a salad and two chicken breasts stuffed into a foot-long loaf for five bucks? (By the way, I love how "our" healthy fast food chain still manages to appease my mean, gluttonous streak by offering me a twelve-inch long, nearly two pound sandwich for a five spot.)

I used to LOVE McDonald's breakfast until I realized I can only sustain my body on preservatives and mechanically-separated meat for so long (eat your heart out, hot dogs!) So when I heard my favorite once-fat man, J-Red was now hittin' up Subway for breakfast and a cup of Seattle's Best Coffee, I followed suit.

Last Saturday I made my way to Subway at 9 in the a.m. to give it a go.

Last Saturday, 9 a.m. - I'm nursing a bourbon and beer-induced hangover, and in need of the fountain-of-youth-extracted elixir they call coffee. My feet and stomach select Subway as the destination in mind.

9:15 (roughly) - I arrive at Subway. My motor skills summon every ounce of coordination they can muster to mutter something along the lines of "coffee, food-coffee" to the Subway...sandwich...maker...person.

9:16 - To my demise, I'm informed that there is no coffee. I assume that the more productive members of society's needs for caffeine outweighed the incapacitation my hangover caused. I order a sandwich anyway, simply because I needed something for my mouth to do that didn't include speaking - there's no telling what kind of trouble it would have gotten me into that morning.

I have frequented Subway twice since then for breakfast: on Monday, and this morning.

Both times - disappointment.

Monday morning, my girlfriend and I went twenty minutes after this certain location (which I will leave anonymous, but is located at 1109 University Ave in Lubbock, TX for those whom it may concern) opened to find that nothing was ready. No coffee, no food, no nothin'. The dude (emphasis on "the" since he was the only employee on-site) looked beastly, like he had just rolled out of bed. By the power of deduction, I assume he was late. We left abruptly.

This morning produced similar results. The food was ready, still no coffee. Damn you, Subway breakfast.

In an increasingly-competitive and profitable fast-food breakfast market, Subway needs to perform at a higher caliber if it plans on market penetration, ESPECIALLY since an absence of drive-thrus at most locations makes it an underdog. I know my experience may be a case specific only to that certain brick and mortar location, but the powers that be at the Subway HQ (wherever that may be) need to communicate the importance of reliability when executing new ventures, to their franchises.

While their sandwiches don't, this lapse has left a bad taste in my mouth.

Back to the drawing board, kiddos.